March 6, 2001
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What is reality? Is what I see as real, the same as what you see? Do you see LOSER tattooed on my forehead?
It is strange that I have lived that past few years making a real effort to be invisible again. Now, I am afraid that being invisible is going to pull me back into the abyss that I have tried to escape. I no longer have anywhere to turn. Nobody wants to hear me, of even acknowledge that I am in pain. Nobody knows what is running inside my head. Nobody knows how strong the desire is to just leave it all behind. There are voices inside telling me just how bad I am, and yet I can still look back and see some sunshine. I don't feel it. And there is a very thick pane of glass between me and everyone else, but I can still remember that it once was there. I don't want to fight for its return anymore. I simply wish to step out of this existance and into...? I don't know if there is a place to step into anymore.
Oh, the moon report... 35 out of 35.
Comments (1)
I do not see LOSER tattooed on your forehead... but you do, obviously. Your opinion of yourself is terrible, Jan, and that's something you need to work on. Unfortunately, there ain't much we in Xangaland can do about it.
You need to start doing things to make yourself happy. And only you know what they are.
Way to go on the moon report
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